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Tony begins a series of bonus episodes by airing some of the most downloaded/listened to episodes over the past 4 years of hosting The Virtual Couch podcast. In today's episode, Jody Moore (http://jodymoore.com), Life Coach and host of the Better Than Happy podcast, takes you through her origin story.
The Magnetic Marriage Course is a hit! You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April.Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.
Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ
----- TRANSCRIPT -----
EP 256 Jody Moore Orgin Story-2021-April
[00:00:00] Hey, everybody, before we get to this bonus episode, one of my most downloaded episodes of all time with Jodi Moore, I just wanted to encourage you to head over to Tony Overbay. Dotcom slash magnetic round two of the magnetic marriage course is coming soon. And if you heard the podcast earlier in this week with Preston Buckmeier, we talked about a lot of the the success things we learned from the first round of the magnetic marriage course, and it was better than anticipated. So go there. Now, either listen to that episode earlier this week or go to Tony Overbay, dotcom slash magnetic and get in line. Find out what all the kids are talking about the next round of the magnetic marriage course. OK, let's get to today's bonus episode with Jodie Moore.
[00:00:46] Welcome to a
[00:00:47] Special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch. I'm your host, Tony Overbay, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified my Blaber coach and writer, speaker, husband, father for all those things that I'd like to say at the beginning of each episode and today and this bonus episode, I've been almost doing what I would call a series. This is a series of some of the most downloaded episodes in the history of the virtual couch. So some two hundred and fifty something plus episodes later and I don't know, three, four million downloads that looked at the stats in a while, which is a funny thing in and of itself in the beginning days of any podcast, I think any honest podcast or will tell you they become somewhat obsessed with their statistics and over time it it doesn't hold the allure that it once did. But I'm so grateful for anybody who takes the time to listen, download, share any of those things. The Virtual Couch podcast. But today's guest is one of those that is in the top 10 of most downloaded episodes in history, the virtual couch. And that's Jodi Moore. Jodi Moore is a life coach and I'm on her website right now, which is funny because when I had her on way back in the day, I think it was episode thirty four. She had a website and her she was kind of known as a bold new mom. And at that time she was moving over. So now you can just simply find her at Jodi Moore Dotcom.
[00:02:01] And she said she's a mother of four, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, and a woman trying to figure out how to minimize resentment, overwhelming guilt, and replace them with happiness, gratitude and joy. And one of the reasons that I loved having Jodi on my podcast so much back in the day is because I was like I say, thirty four episodes and she was the third or fourth episode. And I did a home in a way or a home and home series with her where I went on her podcast and she came on mine and I didn't know the impact that she was having in helping women become their their best selves, getting their confidence back. And once I had her on my podcast, it was just absolutely phenomenal. The response that I got and the amount of downloads just jumped by leaps and bounds. And from that point, I really feel like the virtual couch was off and it even gained. Got me access to more guests that even had more people that follow them, which brought more people to the virtual couch. So I'm really grateful for Jodie Moore and for her having me on her show and for her coming on my show. So what I think is fun about this episode is I am a huge fan of origin stories. And, you know, there's so many movies out there and the DC Marvel Universe, I'll be the first to admit, and I even have a podcast where I had a couple of people on that talked extensively about this, where I'm not exactly sure who's in the DC Universe, who's in the Marvel universe, but I do enjoy those movies.
[00:03:23] But the thing I enjoy the most is when I get an origin story, when I find out how somebody became the person that they are. Even before I became a therapist, I was fascinated by biographies, autobiographies, and I love nothing more than to watch documentaries about people I would watch. My audible account is filled with stories of people and what makes them tick all of those wonderful things. So I'd be like in looking back over this episode as I was getting ready to to release this one and listening and editing a few things, cleaning some things up, that this is more like Jodi's origin story, where she talks about making that change from working in corporate America to then stepping out on her own and helping coach people into what is become a thriving business, a thriving empire where she has helped hundreds, I'm sure thousands of people be a better version of themselves. So I love for you to sit back, relax, enjoy this bonus episode, the Origin story about Jodi Moore. And before I even click into the music here, the one that talks about come on in and take a seat on the virtual couch, which is a fun song.
[00:04:26] It was made just for the podcast. Let me do a quick bit of business and just suggest that if you are thinking about getting help and you want to go see a therapist, a counselor, and right now they're hard to get into, I will tell you it's hard for me to find people to even refer people to. Then I would recommend taking a look at the online therapy world. So take a look at Betterhelp.com virtual couch. You're going to get ten percent off your first month services. And you you owe it to yourself. You owe it to those you love, those who you have in your life. But but really to you to just take a look at some of the things that might be stumbling blocks that are in your life, things it might be getting you down if you're struggling with a bit of anxiety, depression, OCD, just in and in your thought process, your thought patterns, you can go take a look at Betterhelp.com, slash virtual couch and a very quick assessment. You could be up and running talking to a licensed professional counselor or licensed marriage and family therapist in your area within 24 to 48 hours. And you can do it via email or text or Zouma in person. Whatever the you're going to find a way to communicate with somebody in a way that works for you. So go try Betterhelp.com such virtual couch today, get ten percent off your first month's fees and then they do have they have scholarships and adjusted rates and sliding scales and that sort of thing to do.
[00:05:38] So with that said, let's get to this bonus episode where you're going to get to learn the origin story of Jodi Moore. Hey, so this is a bonus that. I thought I couldn't help myself when I was editing this episode, this bonus episode with Jodie Moore at the beginning of the episode, after I had welcomed everybody to the show. I gave a sneak preview to an upcoming episode with a woman named Katelyn Markham that used to work in my office. And Caitlin's been on the virtual couch twice, once to talk about disordered eating and wants to talk about dating in the modern age. And those are fantastic episodes. If you want to go take a look and find those, maybe I'll put those in the show notes. But she told a story at the end of one of the episodes that I still to this day makes me laugh. And I forgot that I included that in this story. More sneak preview. So this is just a clip at the end of one of those episodes with Katelyn Markham. And then we'll get to the episode with Jodie Moore. So enjoy this clip. It's one of the funniest things that I've heard on the Virtual Couch podcast before we end. Tell us about that cat scratch on your head.
[00:06:34] Oh, I. It's my fault, she said in her toxic relationship. I got a cat when I was nine and I was obsessed with Mariah Carey at the time. So I named her Mariah Kitty. Oh, and she is a diva and I don't know what I was thinking. Of course, she's going to be a diva. And so she scratched me the other day and even asking me if I have a cat, I'm like, yeah, why? I think I've got hair. And they're like, no, that gash on your hand.
[00:06:58] I had a gash on your hand. Yeah.
[00:07:01] Mariah Carey. Mariah Carey.
[00:07:03] That's impressive. I think that that is probably the way we in this podcast.
[00:07:07] I mean,
[00:07:08] Any other way. No. OK, I hope that did not disappoint. I cannot get Mariah Kitty in the fact that she was a diva out of my head. I hear that thing whenever I'm feeling down. I just play that clip from Caitlyn.
[00:07:37] Come on, take a seat. So. When I finally looked you up,
[00:07:45] You run a very tight fortress. I could not find direct contact information. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I changed that. No, no, it's not. No, I think I can understand because I wonder if you did just have a big glaring email address on your front page, how many hours you
[00:08:01] Get a day. I used to have that and I used to get a lot and I try to direct everyone to that. Ask Jody call, which is perfect.
[00:08:08] So I think when I found you and I did the horrible I stalked you very little leeway. And I found your Facebook information and it said that you were in Roseville, which is, you know, that's where I'm at right now. So I was like, holy cow, Jodi, come on in and we can do the podcast. But you're no longer in Roseville.
[00:08:25] I'm not there. I was there just a couple of years ago, though. Yeah. And then and then we moved to Rockland and now we're in Washington State. So I just haven't updated my Facebook profile. I guess it's OK.
[00:08:35] Busy person, which is a good thing. How long how long were you in this area?
[00:08:39] We were in that area for about five years, OK? And we loved it there. We were in Southern Cal before that and then Washington where I grew up. So my husband got a job offer up here and I have lots of family here. So it's kind of a dream come true for us to move up here. So we love California. We miss it. But right now it's 30 degrees outside
[00:09:01] And I turned the webcam around. You'd be a little jealous right now.
[00:09:04] Yes, I would.
[00:09:05] I did bring a jacket in today, though, just in case.
[00:09:08] It's is a jacket, right? Like that little sweater, lightweight jacket.
[00:09:13] Anything you miss in particular about this area of Northern California?
[00:09:15] I miss all the good restaurants.
[00:09:18] I was going. Yeah, what what were you go to? Because I mean.
[00:09:21] I mean when I say good. Yeah, no, this is this I'll teach you a lot about my family and I. We miss Chick fil A.
[00:09:29] We miss yeah.
[00:09:32] I mean the chain restaurants. But they were like we had our favorite places and we all had a dessert. We loved it. CPK So that was like our go to night out. And Spokane has actually a lot of local restaurants, which are probably amazing. We just haven't gotten out and figured out which ones we like.
[00:09:49] So very quick questions, people.
[00:09:52] Of course we miss that. Of course.
[00:09:53] Yeah, but Chick fil A, are you a nugget or a chicken sandwich?
[00:09:57] Oh, this is what you have to get a chick fillet the grilled nuggets. Hey, Chick fil A sauce. Yes. And the kale salad, which doesn't sound good, is delicious.
[00:10:07] There are you lost me on the kale salad. A chain saw some in. We can get used to it. Yeah, that's OK. Now, let me ask you two. Were you starting to wear you doing the coaching while you were here?
[00:10:19] Yeah, I did. I started it actually while I was there. So I've been coaching for almost four years now.
[00:10:24] And so I want to get in. I want to get into well, how that started. OK, but can I tell a very quick, vulnerable, embarrassing anecdote about
[00:10:33] Brees
[00:10:33] Doing well? So the way that I found out about you was I as my podcast is, I've got more episodes out there. I have had several people tell me, have you heard of bold new mom? And so then I was like, oh, check this out. Maybe I can maybe have her on helping out a little bit. And I go to your iTunes. It's like eight thousand five star reviews and everybody just loving your coaching practices. You're so busy that necessarily taking on the one on one client that I was like, wow, maybe she'll have maybe she'll take the time to field my email, so.
[00:11:03] Oh my gosh, that's so nice of you. I seriously am so honored that you would have me on because I do get a lot of well, you're just a fake therapist, but people tell me and I'm like, well, I'm not I'm not claiming to be a therapist, but, you know, I'm counseling people. Right. So I get where that comes from. But I so it says a lot about you that you're willing to even check out what I do. Not all therapists feel that way is just what I'll say.
[00:11:29] And I you know, it's funny and I can understand because there is a lot of therapists get on their high horse about when someone tells them that they're they've worked with the life coach and a therapist gets their dander up. And kind of, in my opinion, where as long as we're all helping and I've listened to your podcast episodes and you give amazing advice, you really do. Thank you. Because you're here. And I think we were talking a little before, but I've actually started sending some folks your way and I've had some good feedback. So I appreciate the work that you're doing.
[00:11:54] So awesome. Thank you.
[00:11:56] So tell me, though, where I didn't realize so four years ago, how did this all start? Maybe can you do a little bit of a. Sure. Who is Jodi? Where does she come from, you know, blaming you.
[00:12:05] So other than Chick fil A, I worked in a corporate setting for a long time. I worked in the same company about fourteen years. And at the end of my time there I was doing leadership coaching. I was a corporate trainer and the leadership coach. And so I was introduced to some coaching tools because my director there was a certified life coach. So she taught me the model, basic model I use now. And anyway, I just got a little taste of coaching in that corporate setting and I've loved it. I was like, this is I mean, it was different than any other kind of corporate training I had ever offered. How so?
[00:12:38] Because I did ten years in software before I became a therapist. I remember doing the. You're always going to these training, some cheesy, some not whatever. Right. What do you remember from that or something?
[00:12:48] So I remember before I started coaching and before I met this woman, Chris Blackey, who still does amazing leadership coaching. The way that you would help a manager, let's say, who is struggling would be to say, OK, so your employees not performing. So what have you done? Did you write them up? Did you get them more training? And it was just really direct, basic. This is what you need to do. And then I watched Chris Blackey, one time coach, a manager who had an employee that wasn't performing well and she didn't talk about the employee at all. She talked about the manager, about what was going on in his mind. And ultimately, she showed him that his belief when this employee doesn't do what he told her to do is that she doesn't respect him. OK, and then when you have an employee that you think doesn't respect you, then how does that impact your action? And ultimately for him, he avoids her. Sure.
[00:13:36] Ok, which
[00:13:37] Doesn't help her get any better at her job. Yeah. And and I could see this manager and like, his mind was blown like what? And so I was like, that is so much more powerful right now that this do this, do that. Some of that's necessary. But anyway, so it was it was not what people were expecting in a corporate environment at all, wasn't what they thought you were coming in to help them with what was so much more effective and helps people not just in their job, but in their lives. Sure. I just totally fell in love with it.
[00:14:10] Did you get resistance from some of the old guard? As far as this isn't productive? We need to tell people here's what you do
[00:14:16] Not really know because the results speak for themselves. So when them the performance starts going up, they were like, great, keep doing what you're doing. I we didn't get a lot of resistance. People really mostly were open to it. OK, so that was fun. Yeah.
[00:14:31] And I hate to put you on the spot, but it is nice fun stories from corporate training days of things that didn't go right or went sour.
[00:14:38] Oh my gosh. So many. Where do I begin. I loved corporate training actually even putting on the events like we would do kind of day long events where we pull people out of their cubicles and into a room. And I was lucky to get to have a team of trainers at about six or seven trainers that worked underneath me that were all amazing. And so we would send out surveys at the end of the day to ask for feedback on how the day went. And the number one thing, the number one complaint, I should say, was always whatever we serve for lunch. Oh, wow. So if we served pizza, they're like, why can't we have a nicer lunch? If we catered lunch, they're like, why can't we have pizza? I mean, it was like, we don't like thin crust pizza. We want thick crust pizza. So that was our running joke was like, we can never nail one everything. But if that's our biggest complaint, I think we're doing pretty well. It was it was fun.
[00:15:30] I wonder if that speaks to the deep psychological need for people to want to complain. There's something.
[00:15:33] Right. There has to be something.
[00:15:36] You'd be all perfect. So you do the corporate training and that that that goes well. At what point did you start to look at. I can help individuals.
[00:15:43] Well, the company that I worked for laid off eighty percent of us. Wow. Huge company. And they just made huge changes. And so at that point I was pregnant with my third child. My husband was making good money at the time. So we kind of stopped and assessed and it was like, I don't need to work, quote unquote. Yeah. And I thought, OK, maybe I'm just going to be home for a little while. And shortly after that, Brooke Castillo, who owns the Life Coach School at that point, lived in Folsom. Oh, wow. Are you there right near Roseville, where I was at the time, decided to offer for the first time and in person coach training. She'd been training coaches virtually for a while, but she was like, I want to train people in person. And I was like, I live right by her. I have to go to this. And I told my husband is like, I have no idea if I'm going to do anything with this ever. Yeah, I'm not really an entrepreneur by nature, but I really feel called to go to this class that she's teaching and it was pretty expensive. And my husband is great. I was like, all right, if you feel like you need to do it, we'll make it happen.
[00:16:44] And so I went through and by the time I got through that class and just learned all the tools and so much more depth and learned a little bit about how to market a business, a coaching practice, and I just came out of there, OK, now I'm going to do this. But again, it was never like I'm going to have at this big podcast, I'm going to have all these clients. I was just like, I'm just going to help some people. I think I know how to find some people to help. OK, I just really took one step at a time and with a lot of hard work, I don't mean so easy. I just fell into this. It was definitely hard work. But really, I just kept telling myself all I have to do is keep marching forward, just keep marching forward. I don't know how I'm going to get to I don't even know what the end goal is. Just keep marching forward. Just keep marching forward. And with failure along the way, too, that's fine. I failed. Now march forward.
[00:17:30] I love that. So I find and I probably a cheesy phrase, but I love to when a client is starting to, I say pull out their crystal ball. So they're saying, well, they probably I probably can't even get in. And there's traffic at that time of the day and that class is really pretty expensive. And I. We would probably say that that's not a smart idea. So, yeah, I guess that's not going to work. So you are basically you threw the crystal ball away and it's just one step at a time.
[00:17:50] Totally. I was like, I don't know. You're right. I don't know how I'm going to overcome that. I don't know what I'm going to do about traffic. I know what the next step is. That's all I need to know. Here's the next step. I'm going to take that one. Then I'm going to be OK. I mean, this is so fascinating, too. If you think about we want to know our brains like to know. Right. We don't like uncertainty. We want to be able to predict even if we know it's going to be hard, if we just know what the heart will be and when it will resolve itself. Yeah, that feels so much safer to us. But what I teach my clients is that you can't possibly know because the way doesn't unfold itself until you get a little closer like you and I had no idea that Zoom existed, which is how we're virtually right now. But two years ago, I didn't know it existed and so I couldn't have predicted. Well, the way I'll talk to Tony will be through Zoom, right? Exactly. Yeah. You just have to be willing to do all you need to know is the next step.
[00:18:41] Yeah, can I tell you that? And I will. This is not about me, but I got to this point where I said, OK, I'm going to go back and get my master's in counseling and I'll just get it because I had waited four years, I thought maybe I should. And then I finally said, I'll get it and maybe I'll never do anything with it, but I need to at least start. And then I got there. And then you get into a practical when you see clients and then you and I are now talking through Zoom, so.
[00:19:02] Right. And you're just like, oh, OK, that's how.
[00:19:04] Yeah, yeah. I love what you're saying though, where people will maybe say you've got a successful coaching practice and it's pretty easy for you and it's no, I took all the steps and risks and changes and.
[00:19:15] Yeah. Yes for sure.
[00:19:17] So when you got the certification, what's the next step? If you just open a sheet, you got a shingle and it's like coaching.
[00:19:23] I started with a blog. I started writing a blog. I wasn't trying to be a blogger. I was just trying to get content out there to teach people what I know and to find people that might be interested in in getting some coaching. I wrote a blog for the first couple of years. I just told myself this is again, what I had learned about building a business was that you need to be really consistent with your content. So I published a blog post every week without fail, even though I didn't always want to write it and they weren't all great, but I was just very consistent about publishing them and sharing them on Facebook. And and so I started to get some people saying, I really like what I'm reading in your blog. I did some free coaching in the beginning. I just created basically a six week program. I was like, OK, I want to help women. My passion is, is helping moms who are stay at home moms who are overwhelmed and unfulfilled. But you don't necessarily want to go to work. They just want to be happy again. So I was like, these are the six sessions I would teach. This is how I would coach them. I created that program and then I reached out and I coached some people for free through it so I could just test it out and practice my coaching. Yeah. And from there I was like, this is so good. Now start charging for it.
[00:20:35] And I think a lot of people assume that they are. I don't want to say I'm judgmental statements out, but that people go to this place where I can start making money or this isn't worth it. Or I've been doing this for two months and I'm not making any money. And I've been speaking of things for twenty years, youth conferences and churches and enrichment nights and whatever. But eventually that all comes together. I mean,
[00:20:57] Yeah, yeah. I like to think of money as like you're putting value out into the world and you're going to get value back in some way at some point. But it's not always going to be this linear. Like I work this many hours and now I get paid. Or to your point, I'll go speak at a church event any time. I'm not going to get paid for that. I know that's a value I'm putting into the world and it comes back to me in ways I never would have expected. I didn't honestly, I didn't start making money in my business until I made the first year. I made no money, basically. Or spent money. Yeah. Next year I made a little bit of money. It was like a job, like a job hobby. I mean, I was serious about it. It wasn't that in my mind. But like financially you'd been like, that's cute. Made a little money, right? It wasn't on my third year that I really took off. And my husband and I were like, whoa, you just passed up my income. Whoa, you just doubled my income. Wow. Oh, I think I should quit my job and work in your business. But that so that happened in my third year. But I honestly think those first two years I put so much value out into the world.
[00:22:02] My goal was to help people and serve people. And I was strategic. Don't get me wrong, I was I had a map of what I was building along the way, but I was all for even now when I when I go to sell something, I offer content to people for free in the way I think about it is OK, if I'm going to do that, let's say it's going to be a webinar, I'm going to teach something. I'm going to sell a program at the end. I think about that webinar like that person who's going to come to this webinar and is not going to buy anything for me. This is the one chance I have to try to help them with this topic. What's the best thing I could teach them in this? Forty five minutes. OK, and I create them. I create the webinar that way. And then at the end I tell them why I. I think that if they're able to and they want to, this program will help them so much and it costs money, but I'm putting so much value in that, I honestly feel like it's just all catching up now in ways that I never had planned on.
[00:22:55] Yeah. So do you remember do you remember those first few, the clients you worked with? You remember. Yeah. What was that. What was I like. Do you remember your first one.
[00:23:04] My gosh, I was like my first paying client. I remember thinking this person should not be giving me money. I don't know what they're thinking. I have no idea what I'm doing, really. Like, it's so hard. You want to be confident you have anything to pull your confidence from anything from your past. But what I did is I put my confidence in the tools. I knew that I had really amazing tools that I've been taught. And so I told myself these tools alone. I paid way more than this for these tools. These tools alone are valuable. And this was really key. And I still have to do this. I had to remind myself, oh, this isn't about me.
[00:23:42] Yeah, absolutely.
[00:23:44] Ok, right. Like, let me just show up and quiet all that drama in my own head about what are they going to think of me and am I good enough and let me just be present for them my tools. Let me engage with them, tell my own brain to just be quiet. And that's really
[00:23:59] And I apologize if you've already covered this topic. I did a podcast a couple of weeks ago on Imposter Syndrome. Are you are you pretty familiar with that? No. Oh, OK. That's highly recommended. Listen to that one, because this is where I've got a lot of feedback where people said, wow, I didn't realize that I've got somebody who is I've been trying to get to come on. And they're like, hey, I just listen to your episode on Imposter Syndrome and that's why I'm not coming on because. So, yeah, so I have it all the time. So where imposter syndrome is, I feel passionate about this and I feel, yeah, this isn't about me. I want to share. Yes. Like you and I want to share the tools I've learned from a decade on the couch and I want to help. I really do. And then in my head every now and again, I worry that somebody is going to knock on the door here and they're going to say, hey, we realize, like, all the stuff you're saying is actually dumb and, you know. Right. Really not kind of helping many people. So raise the laptop of your computer and that's enough.
[00:24:50] Can you stop
[00:24:51] Now? Yeah. Do you ever have that thought or those feelings?
[00:24:55] Oh, I again, like I because my confidence is in the tools. Yeah. I just feel like I know for sure those tools are so powerful and so even me and all my shortcomings, I do get people that make comments like that, like obviously no one can come in and shut my laptop, but I get people posting or commenting or emailing me about their opinions, then I don't know what I'm talking about or that I'm doing. I'm harming people in this way. I get all kinds of stuff. Yeah. And it's not that it doesn't affect me, it doesn't feel good. I mostly try not to read them, but but overall I do my own work. Yeah. What do I believe then. I know that everybody like it's ok. I'm not for everyone to like me, I just need to like me and all of that. I do. I really do my own work to not live in fear of that. If I don't, here's what happens when I don't, because I've been I've caught myself at times like thinking about that one negative comment that you or the handful about a certain topic. And what I want to start doing is in my next podcast episode, I find myself starting to talk to those people.
[00:26:02] Absolutely. Yeah. And what you're saying. Right.
[00:26:04] Right. And I like I a little bit want to convince them or and I want to defend myself. And then I realize, hold on. My podcast is getting like over a hundred thousand downloads a month, which is amazing. And maybe a hundred of them don't like what I have to say. Why am I talking to them? Why don't I talk to the other ninety nine thousand hitting a lot out of it. That's who I want to be talking to. So I have to I have to do that work on my brain.
[00:26:29] Yeah, no, that's
[00:26:30] Probably pretty good at it.
[00:26:31] I think the kids call them haters these days, right. Yeah, but that's a few. Yeah. We're human but we can but so I do a lot of work with trying to do mindfulness techniques. We've got these core beliefs or values and if the thought doesn't kind of jibe with those, it's just one of the many thoughts that go through our head. And let's move that one on through. Right? Yes, it would be hard. Yeah, I love that, though, the tools you're actually helping me in this moment. So there's I've never done much looking at the concept of ego in general. I'm curious.
[00:27:00] Yeah. I mean, a lot of people in my industry like to speak about the ego. You know, I use different words sometimes to describe it. But just that idea that there's maybe the natural man or the primitive brain or the part of us that lives in fear and thinks everything is about us and yeah, totally. I love. what I heard.
[00:27:19] And I think what you make me think of with this is I heard a I was at a training and they talked about the ego will have a pretty negative connotation often because we think of ego with regard to power and absolute power and power and corruption and pride and all that kind of stuff. And this person was saying, if the ego is based and wanting change and good and help, it was like Mother Teresa had an ego and Jesus had an ego and Buddha. And you go and Confucius said these things were inspired, it was to do
[00:27:45] It's not bad.
[00:27:46] Yeah, yeah. So I think that's the part where sometimes my negative self talk will say, who do you think you are, that kind of thing?
[00:27:51] Oh, right. Well, there's that kind of ego, like egotistical, whatever. You think that you're better than everyone else. More pride, which I think is how people think of that word. I think of it more like that part of you that's ultimate job is to keep you alive. Yeah. Yeah, we need that. Right. There's danger here. Let's watch out for that. Let's let's be careful. So, yeah, it's not a definitely not a negative thing. It just needs to be in check.
[00:28:18] Yeah. So what do you have some sort going back through that the your progression. So you start doing some coaching now you start getting some paying clients, the blog starting to pick up what came next and you start doing, than you do the podcast. What happened.
[00:28:33] Yeah I that is basically so I started to get more and more one on one clients. My business was growing. I was figuring out the marketing and things and then I decided to start a podcast. I had fallen in love with podcasts myself at that point and I can talk all day long. Talking is a lot easier for me than writing. Yeah, so there's some technology to figure out and all of that. But I just decided I'm going to stop blogging and start a podcast as my content instead. OK, so I started the podcast and I had my the people that had been following my blog I think started listening. So I had a few listeners in the beginning. But I again, consistency was so key. Like I became pregnant at that point with my fourth child. And I had I have published a podcast every week, including the week I had a baby. It would still be totally
[00:29:27] Level before or after the.
[00:29:30] It was after. It was exactly wow. Yeah. I always tell myself like a batch record that whole months at one day. But of course I never do that because I'm not very good at that. So I did, I was like, here, the baby's taking a nap. I'm gonna sit down and talk to people for twenty minutes and publish it like it's I love that anyway, so. Yeah.
[00:29:48] Hey, how hard is that though then when somebody is telling you man you don't get it, my life's hard or whatever and you want to say, are you kidding me? I record a podcast two days after I had a baby. OK, that difficult at times. I know that your your tools and skill set are such that that's I know that's not your style, but how hard is that on the inside?
[00:30:05] When I'm doing my job, I really I really keep myself out of it. OK, so what I'm trying to do always as a coach is show people their own brains. OK, so when they say to me, well, it's just so hard, I just don't have time. I have so much going on in my mind. I know that's just a story they're telling themselves, but. But what my job is to show them that it is just a story. It's not a fact. They think it's a fact. And they're like, let me show you all the things I have to do. And so I really it doesn't bother me in that sense. I just I'm showing them that when you believe that story, here's what result you create in your life. And then it may bring in I have a few things on my plate. This is the way I think about it. And people do say to me all the time, oh, you're just so busy. You must be so busy. They try to sell you that story. Yeah, they think it's kind and they're trying to be empathetic, which I totally appreciate, but I don't ever buy it. I say, no, I'm just so lucky.
[00:30:58] I love
[00:30:58] That life. Like, busy. I'm so busy is not a useful story ever. And it's always the story.
[00:31:04] I love it. So if you assume that maybe this will help people, who are they? I want to obviously send people your way that are going to listen to this podcast because I love that message. How do you do that? How do you show someone that story? How do you lay that out?
[00:31:19] So I have a coaching model. I put it into where we take a look at, OK, your thought is I'm so busy. And then how does that make you feel? Because our thoughts are creating our feelings. Yeah. And it makes us it makes me feel overwhelmed usually. Right. That thought. And then your feelings are the fuel for your action. So when you feel overwhelmed, what do you do or not do? And it's so fascinating how the brain works when we're overwhelmed. What we want to do is shut down. Like I'm just I think I should just go watch Netflix for a while before or maybe we start taking a little bit of action. But it's really painful when resistance we do it because the brain doesn't like to be overwhelmed. And so we actually get less done when we believe that we're so busy. So I show them that. And the result of that is your to do list grows and you don't get to the things you want, which reinforces the original thought. I'm so busy. So I show them that and I help them really see that. That's what you're creating for yourself. And then we'll move to what do you want to believe instead. OK, so again, it maybe we'll start with what do you want your action to look like or how do you want to feel or what result do you want? But ultimately it has to come down to what story is still has to be a believable story. I'm not really big on positive affirmations and just trying to convince yourself, like I have plenty of time. If you don't believe that your brain will just reject it and start looking for reasons to disprove it. But you find a thought like for me, I'm just so lucky I have such a full life, but you have to find a thought that is more empowering, that's going to drive the action that you want. So it's that process that we go through and coaching.
[00:32:55] Ok, do you have an I'm curious, do you have some kind of thoughts or stories or examples that you that come to mind or some pretty dramatic change that you've seen?
[00:33:04] Yeah, I would say like where I love seeing progress. I've seen some people make some great progress in their marriages in terms of the way they're thinking about their spouse. One client in particular, I'll share she her she's a member of the LDS church. There's a lot of my clients are. And her husband had left the church, decided he no longer believed it. And so she was struggling with what is our marriage look like now and just finding peace. And as I coached her through that whole process of what does she want to believe about her life, about her husband, about herself, about all of it. And it's a process. But ultimately, she recently sent me an email saying just she's had so much peace to the extent she talked about going to visit. I think it was a relative who brought up this this situation where her husband no longer is active in the church. And she said, normally I avoid it and I want to be quiet. I don't want to talk about it. I'm kind of it's uncomfortable. And she's I didn't feel that at all. I was like, yeah, that's what he's chosen. And she's like, I just felt all this peace that I could be genuine and authentic and not have all this resentment. Really amazing work she did there. Yeah.
[00:34:12] So sort of her then shutting down and feeling trapped and stuck and all these other
[00:34:16] Feeling like she has to defend or explain something she just like when you get to peace, it's like Byron Katie says you don't have to love me. That's my job. OK, yeah. And when you get to that place it's OK for people to misunderstand me. It's OK for people to have judgments. We all do at times. I just need to be there for me. I need to love me and my life and my situation and then I can handle all the rest of it.
[00:34:43] I'm hearing now that that theme, because if we go back to you having confidence in your tools and the work you're doing and it goes back to when we hear these negative thoughts or opinions of others, why do we let it affect us so much? Right.
[00:34:57] Yeah, I love helping. That's the other one that comes to my mind is to some women that I've seen their confidence go up so much because I remember as a new mom, I had this realization one day that people that are confident do well. They not only are they successful, whatever that means, but they also handle challenges better. And confidence is so useful, not to mention fun. Yeah. And I remember asking around, like, now what if my kids are lacking in confidence? How do we teach confidence? How do we build confidence obviously comes from like life experiences and. Right. And accomplishing something. Build your confidence. But I'm like, what if I have kids that I want to help be more competent? And everybody I asked was like, I don't know. I'm not really sure how you give people. Maybe you're just born with it. Kind of maybe some people have it and some people don't. And so I remember thinking, no, there has to be a way. And anyway, the coaching tools have really shown me how to help people build confidence and especially as adults, right where your brain isn't as neuroplastic in your personality's a little more set. They feel like I'm just not a competent person able to help people build confidence, helps them anything they do in life. And that I just love seeing that transformation.
[00:36:11] I love how when you said that, listen to that's the story they're telling themselves. Right. How long have they been telling themselves that? Yeah, right. You mentioned the word fun. And I want to go with the this is an interview. I love everything you share. But for people that are going to come here and learn more about, you know, it's probably not talking about me. Exactly. Let's do it right. So hobbies, what do you like to do?
[00:36:30] Oh, my gosh. Hobbies. I used to be an avid runner. I've run a couple of marathons, OK, but now not as much, but I do still enjoy being active.
[00:36:41] And what what marathons did you run?
[00:36:43] I ran the St George Marathon and then I ran the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon, you know, like a triathlon. Are you OK?
[00:36:51] So actually, I'm not that strong a swimmer, but yeah. No, I run I run a couple of hundred marathons and ultramarathons, so I've done the St George when I had to get to ten times so I could get the T-shirt that says I'm in the technical ten times.
[00:37:03] But it was
[00:37:03] Funny. Yeah. I mean but that's a beautiful, beautiful run right.
[00:37:06] Oh yeah. Gorgeous.
[00:37:08] Yeah. So you OK. A little bit of running like that. A little bit
[00:37:11] Of activity that way and the gym or whatnot at this point is my new running. Honestly I, I used to sew since I started my business. I think my creative need is really met through all my marketing and everything. So I haven't done any of that in a while. If it's if I have time and my choice, I'm like, let's just go to a movie. I just like hanging out with a group of people I love. I'm definitely an extrovert. I love to be around people just engaging with a group of friends. My family and I will ski a little bit. It's like,
[00:37:41] Can I do? Tony's ADD moment for just a second. Do it when you said so, I just thought this was the coolest thing to see this cute. So I have just a wonderful younger girl client that we were talking about, things that bring up her. I call it the emotional baseline so that she could be in this better position to respond to the things around her. And she mentioned sewing. And I just done a training where this guy was talking about when you're working with young boys, in particular teenage boys, they have this part of the brain that just wants to fidget and kick and whatever. And so he was talking about me. And if you were just playing catch in your office, that would satisfy I think it's part of the limbic brain and then they would, in theory, open up. But I tried that and not all kids are coordinated. So we're like knocking stuff over some
[00:38:22] The like everywhere.
[00:38:24] Exactly. So then she said and ironically, she said, I love to sew cubes. So I thought, there it is cubes. Then she maybe this cube it's through in this bad boy around and it's working.
[00:38:35] So that is so cool.
[00:38:38] I love that you mentioned movies. I did a podcast online yesterday and I actually found some research on the top ten movies that people lie about that they've seen. So I thought, oh really? Yeah.
[00:38:48] So I listen to that podcast
[00:38:51] And no one was that was The Godfather. So I don't know if you've ever
[00:38:54] Not seen the whole thing. I've seen pieces of it. I won't lie.
[00:38:57] Now, what kind of movie? What do you like? Are you a rom com? Are you a comedy or a thriller?
[00:39:02] Oh, I think that I love my favorite is like a chick flick comedy like Pitch Perfect. But they don't make them very often and they're often a little bit crass for my taste, but I can only get more of those and clean them up just a little. I do love comedy. I just think like laughing and let's just have fun even in my business. That's how I try to think about it when my brain's like, this is so scary. How are you going to do that? And like, stop. Yeah, this is just going to be fun. OK, if I mean, I love any really any thing where I'm sitting in a dark theater, especially if there's no little kids and I have a Diet Coke, I'm happy
[00:39:39] I was going to ask, are you a popcorn or no popcorn?
[00:39:42] I used to eat popcorn, but I really cleaned up my diet lately.
[00:39:45] So I feel judged because of my judgment whatsoever.
[00:39:50] I was a popcorn for many years.
[00:39:52] I just I love it. I do know that I love the kind of movie. What what's your favorite date night with your husband?
[00:39:57] I would say honestly, dinner with a small group of friends. I just love to connect with other adults. It's so rare when you have little kids that you get to do that without kids interrupting every minute. So just to go out with a small group and just hang out and visit is like my ideal. OK, my husband, of course.
[00:40:16] Exactly. Exactly. Hey, tell me about I pulled some stuff off of your website and one of those is this. It's ask Jodi anything to get started. And what's that about?
[00:40:26] Yeah. Well, that's anybody listening who wants to come is welcome to go there. So I the podcast has just grown so tremendously and I'm so thrilled with how people are responding to it. But I get inundated with questions about I love what you've got on there. I have this situation. What would you advise? And I used to try to answer those and I realized eventually I just couldn't do it. So I have that call. I do it about once a month. It's free, open to the public. And people come and they pop their question into the chat box. So it's anonymous to anyone other than me. I can see their name if they typed in their name. But it's it's it's kind of a safe environment for them. I get through as many questions as I can and I just answer them right there live on the call. So it's I feel like it's so good because ten people have the same question to answer it once, but also to hear other people sometimes like other people, ask the questions that we don't even think to ask. So it's just a really fun way for me to give a little bit extra on top of the podcast. That's doable for me.
[00:41:31] What's the you have the number one question you get asked?
[00:41:35] I would say it's a lot of, again, marriage type stuff, marriage questions, but also because I do the word mom is in the title of my podcast. A lot of women are coming to me saying, can you give me advice on how to teach this to my child? And I never do that. Actually, I always coach the mom. It's like the manager saying, what do I do with this employee? OK, and so rather than say, do this with your employer or try this with your child, I'll give them a little bit of some of that. But mostly I'm like they'll say, this is just so heartbreaking. My child is full of self-loathing and I'm trying to teach her what you teach about confidence, but she's just not getting it. How do I help my child? And I always begin with what let's talk about why it's so heartbreaking. It's fine for you to feel sad for your child and not try and take that away. But is it really serving you to be so emotionally upset? How are you going to show up for your child? So I always coach them. The mom. I love it. That's not what I meant.
[00:42:34] Yeah, well, you had a you had a podcast not long ago, and I, I
[00:42:37] Just did
[00:42:38] That. And I really liked where you were talking about. Sometimes it's just about it's you feel uncomfortable with the situation? Yeah, that was nice. Sure, yeah. Do you ever get some questions that are just ridiculous?
[00:42:51] Oh, yeah,
[00:42:52] Yeah, you complain.
[00:42:53] Usually I just don't read them. They don't read them off because people can't see where they're coming in and I never get to all of them, unfortunately. Let me think, what are some ridiculous ones?
[00:43:03] I guess I feel bad because now somebody is going to say, wait a minute, I was going to ask that question, apparently that, you
[00:43:08] Know, I love them. Like, I honestly like I'm really good at when I'm coaching. Getting in the headspace of neutrality, it doesn't matter what people bring out me, I'm ready. I'm neutral. I'm looking for what's happening in your brain is you're honestly what I'm looking for. So when I'm not cutting, I'm back to like my human self that has judgment and all that as much as I try not to. But in the coaching space, I'm generally looking for what are they what's driving that problem for them. So like on a on one of my coaching calls in my group program, once my sister helps me in my business, although she's also a coach. And so she happened to be on the call and the woman presented with my next door neighbor murdered his wife. Whoa. And that was the first thing she said. And I was just listening for OK. And she says, then there's these children now that are left without a mother that I've been watching. And the whole thing she wanted coaching on was I feel like I should adopt these children, but I don't really want to and I don't know how to make this decision. And so that's what I coached her on, was what was going on with the children making this decision? Well, after the call, my sister was like, I love how you're so in that space that somebody tells you their next door neighbor murdered their wife and you don't even react, OK? Hey, tell me what else I like. I really do just turn on this part of my brain that's like listening for what is her problem. It's not what she thinks it is, right?
[00:44:31] Yeah, I love that. So I have this cheesy phrase right. Talk about I want people to the more open and honest they can be, obviously the better work we can do. And people are still hesitant to really open up. And I always have this little thing on my shoulder. That's the oh my gosh o-meter. And I promise you, it doesn't even really move. This is good. I want my creation. But I have always wondered before I have this thought of someday I'm going to get the hey, I'm a serial killer. And because we have confidentiality, if it's in the past, then what I do with that and if they're not telling me, we'll do it again. And so I haven't had that yet. Do you feel closer to that than I have?
[00:45:05] Yeah. Oh, no. And it was her neighbor. If somebody said that to me, I would be like, you need to call Tony. I think I'm not at their best. So I just said, all of those people to you
[00:45:16] And that part, my oh, my gosh, o-meter actually might go up a little bit.
[00:45:20] Yeah, totally. Yes, of course. I'm still human. I'm just, like, listening for certain things, so
[00:45:25] I have to. Yeah. Have you ever had when have you been doing that call? For a long time. I mean, do you ever have times where there aren't that flow of questions?
[00:45:33] Oh, no. It's always it's always packed. And I haven't I probably been doing it maybe six months, not too long.
[00:45:41] And I that's my way to wedge a personal anecdote into your it.
[00:45:44] I do.
[00:45:45] When you're saying that I will go speak at a lot of firesides, things like that, it will be people will say, hey, we're going to take questions for you. And I was a one once and I got all these three by five cards. And honestly, there were a couple of statements. Many of them were blank. There was one about, oh, your head's shiny. And so I had to I was like, oh, here's a good question. This person wants to know. And I was kind
[00:46:07] Of leaving it up to you to say you just make them up. And so but when I started doing webinars, I had that I would be prepared with some questions in case nobody asked them. Yeah, it happened. That's how everybody it just happened.
[00:46:21] So I think. Exactly. OK, so this call, their next one is Thursday, March 22nd, 9:00 a.m. Pacific. And then what else what other services do you offer? We were talking a little bit off the air of the one on one. Is that you?
[00:46:34] I don't do one on one coaching anymore because I got to a point where I had so much demand that I was going to have to just start charging a lot more and or working all night. And I didn't want to do either. And so I find that the group coaching is actually honestly, in many cases, even more powerful for people, because hearing other people, hearing their situation, you're not in the midst of it. So you're not as emotionally attached to it. So you still get the learning of the tool and see that real life application. But sometimes it's easier to apply it to your situation when you learn it through somebody else's experience. So I think the group coaching is just such a win for me and for my clients. It's less money for them to pay me. It allows me to serve more. People know anyway, everything I do right now is in groups, but I should say within. So I have basically an online program similar to the way you pay a monthly service at the gym, pay me a monthly fee to come where I teach a class.
[00:47:36] We do live coaching calls. They have access to me online. They have access to a bunch of classes and tools I've created. So they pay that monthly fee to come in there and be in those calls and continue to learn and continue to get help. And so they come and stay as. Little or as long as they want to basically, OK, which has been phenomenal for people, and then so within that program we do offer some more individualized or really small group help to members who are in there who say, I just really am going through this crisis right now. I really need a little more one on one. So I have coaches that work with me in there that will do some of that. OK, but everything otherwise is through that program. And then I do some in-person events too. So I love doing the live events where I just teach everything at once and we do really in-depth coaching and I try to give them all of my tools and make it a really inclusive experience.
[00:48:29] So is that where your training back in the corporate world, does that help when you're organizing a big event like that? I guess that brings me some anxiety to think about that.
[00:48:38] Oh, really? No, I, yes, I. I am a good teacher and I got my master's degree in adult education and training and I have a lot of experience doing that. And I just I enjoy it. I'm good at it. Yeah. And when I first started working with moms, which I started to work with a lot of other people now as well. But when I first started working with moms, I was like, we put on these great corporate retreats. People leave on fire and they feel supported. They have new tools. You know, who needs that? Stay at home moms and who doesn't get that? Stay at home moms. So I was like, I'm going to do that for the moms. Yeah. So I only do it once a year or so. But I try to create like an amazing, inspiring experience.
[00:49:23] And I think and I think where. Yeah, and I because I love the speaking part, I think what I was even thinking about is I can't imagine the organization. Is that one of your strong suits of how we plan at all?
[00:49:32] You know, I at all. But I keep it simple. I do. I keep it simple. We don't do elaborate decor or meals, even if you're going to come and then you're going to go to lunch wherever you want. So I keep it really simple, OK? I'm not I don't love that organization either.
[00:49:48] Ok, all right. No, that makes me feel better. Yeah. Already on the lunch thing. So that sounds like
[00:49:53] I don't have to take complaints about lunch. They just go wherever they want.
[00:49:56] Yeah, that's perfect. Do you have expansion's. Is there going to be a bold new dad. Is there, are you had are you open to do this until your bold new grandma.
[00:50:03] What's right. What's the long term. I really I want to take the word mom out of everything because because we are expanding. But also even as a mom myself, like, I, I love being a mom and love my children, but I don't always identify with that title. I can go to the pediatrician and they say, OK, mom, you're ready. And I want to be like, but I have a name anyway, so I want to get that word out of there for a lot of reasons. I'm still going to keep focusing like I have, but we are starting to expand a little bit. I don't know what it will look like ultimately, but I do have visions of I think I would love I work with a lot of members of the Mormon Church. I would love to see a pre marriage class for engaged couples. It's like every other church has that I don't know why ours doesn't.
[00:50:48] Huge need for that. There really is.
[00:50:50] Yeah, I think there's a great opportunity to work with some of our youth. I think there's opportunity to help the men in some way with whatever they're wanting. I think also to help return missionaries or before you go out on a mission. All of these tools, I think, are so useful in all those scenarios. So we don't have those programs at this point. But that is my long term vision, is to create programs for all of that. So that's
[00:51:13] Wonderful.
[00:51:13] That is a lot to do.
[00:51:15] Yeah, it's great. And then your whole attitude is what a blessing to have this opportunity. Right?
[00:51:21] For sure. I am like pinch myself every day that I get to do this. It's fantastic.
[00:51:26] Hey, I've taken fifty minutes of your time. I really appreciate you taking the time, Jody. I really be at the blast. I really was
[00:51:32] So I'm so happy to do it and I would love to have you come on my podcast too.
[00:51:37] I've been trying not to beg for that. I would love to
[00:51:40] Know but I would love to have you. Come on. So I want to go listen to a couple more of yours just so that I can be picky about. Oh, I love this topic. OK, I have a topic you're passionate about too, but I'll reach out to you and with you time.
[00:51:54] Ok, great. I would love to any time. Yeah. OK, I'm going to hit stop on the recording but if you can hang on one second. But yeah. Jodi, thank you so much for taking the time and being here on the virtual couch.
[00:52:05] Thank you for having me.
