November 23, 2021
Seeing Is Believing? No, it's the other way around! Plus many more fascinating facts about our minds with Nate Christensen, APCC

Nate Christensen, APCC, makes his record fourth appearance on The Virtual Couch to talk more about our minds and the stories they tell us to try and make sense of the world. Nate and Tony discuss several fundamental discoveries from Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius’ book The Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Science of Happiness, Love […]

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November 19, 2021
Narcissistic Family Systems - Introducing The Scapegoat

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve...holidays take on an entirely different meaning in a narcissistic family system. Trauma expert Shannon Thomas said it best "In healthy families, you're just yourself – your name, your talents, your strengths, and weaknesses. You're the person. But in a narcissistic family, things are different. Everybody has to find somewhere to […]

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November 17, 2021
Why Opposites Don't Attract PLUS Tony's New Parenting Course is Part of Nate Bagley's Relationship Mastery Pack!

Tony shares why opposites don't attract in the long run and why ultimately we like people who are more similar to us. PLUS Nate Bagley, relationship researcher and host of the Growth Marriage podcast, comes on to talk about his incredible Relationship Mastery Pack Get thousands of dollars in relationship tools for one special […]

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November 12, 2021
Hold On To Your Hippocampus - The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on the Brain

A growing body of research now shows how long-term narcissistic abuse affects the hippocampus and the amygdala of the brain, areas that regulate memory and control emotion. And while someone may not be your classic, malicious or malignant narcissist (there are several sub-types of narcissism), even someone with narcissistic tendencies, traits, or "dustings" can do […]

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November 10, 2021
Why We Care What Others Think - The Need for External Validation

Tony explores why where the need for external validation comes from. Why do we care what others think? And why the need for external validation is the opposite thing to do for self-confidence and to feel connected to others. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue […]

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November 5, 2021
Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde? Understanding the Black or White, All or Nothing Thinking of the Narcissist

People in relationships with narcissists often find themselves in a constant state of “reading the room” or “walking on eggshells” in hopes of navigating the large number of hidden, emotional landmines. But one wrong step and a landmine explodes, leaving a trail of destruction to the self-esteem of the narcissist’s victims. Today Tony sheds light […]

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November 2, 2021
Now It Makes More Sense! How Context Creates Connected Conversations

Each of us is a unique mixture of life experiences, and we bring all of those experiences into our conversations with others. In today's episode, Tony explores the role of context in conversations. Tony shares an example of how one word can dramatically change the meaning of an entire paragraph from the book "On Being […]

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November 2, 2021
Setting Boundaries w/the Narcissist

Tony Overbay LMFT shares an example of gaslighting that led to setting a healthy boundary. Tony then tackles the topic of boundaries. What are healthy boundaries, and why are they so difficult to enforce? Tony refers to Kier Brady LMFT's article "5 Type of Boundaries For Your Relationship," as well as Dr. Robert Glover's […]

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October 29, 2021
Am I the Narcissist? Exploring Narcissistic Traits and Tendencies (from the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast)

Tony introduces his latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism." In this crossover episode, Tony shares that narcissistic tendencies or traits can come in many different forms and levels of severity. At the same time, as a mental health condition, there is currently only one diagnosis. Tony tackles the question of whether or not we use […]

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October 26, 2021
Hey, I Love The Way You're Reading The Title of This Episode - Why We Need More Compliments in Our Lives

Are compliments ever a bad thing? And how important is the delivery of a compliment? Are people genuinely going over your compliments with a spell checker and thesaurus taking offense to the improper use of has, have, or had? Today Tony tackles the topic of compliments and why it would do us all good to […]

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