July 28, 2021
All You Need is Love...But What Kind of Love? Simplifying Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

In English, we use the word love to describe a variety of emotional states. Are we talking about passionate love, intimate love, committed love, unconditional love or do you tell somebody that you love them simply as a term of endearment? Some people grew up hearing “I love you” on a daily basis in their […]

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July 21, 2021
What I Did During My Summer Vacation (aka A Therapist's Take on Disneyland)

Tony talks about the mental health and life lessons learned on a recent trip to Disneyland, including the brain’s fascination with anticipation vs. reward, the psychological importance of nostalgia, the “Coolidge Effect,”; how to “let go and play” (http://playtheory.org). Plus, Tony shares the application of his “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” with his wife […]

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July 14, 2021
Your Brain Doesn't Have a Delete Button - A Thought is a Thought, a Feeling is a Feeling

What do you do with those pesky unwanted, irrational, and sometimes downright inappropriate or scary thoughts? Hint - trying to stop them, push them away, or change them can often make them even stronger. Tony shares the "numbers" metaphor from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which teaches that the brain works by addition, not subtraction, […]

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July 6, 2021
You Can Have Control, or Love...Pick One

In adult relationships, you can have control or love, but not both. In today’s episode, Tony takes a look at the concept of control. While control may be biologically hardwired for survival, it doesn’t mean that it is best when dealing with human emotion. In Tony’s example of how a conductor controls an orchestra, he […]

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June 30, 2021
The Super Power of Struggle! Modeling a Growth vs. Fixed Mindset Sets Your Kids Up for Greater Success

Want to help your kids succeed? Let them see you struggle, let them see you fail, let them know you are human! Tony talks about a fascinating study out of MIT that shows how modeling the reality of not immediately succeeding at something can have a positive impact on kids as young as 15 months […]

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June 29, 2021
Healing From Betrayal Trauma with Brannon Patrick, Host of The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert

Tony talks about processing betrayal trauma with Brannon Patrick. Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the Expert" in the popular podcast "The Betrayed, The Addict and The Expert." His podcast follows the recovery journey of Ashlynn and Coby, a couple who have been able […]

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June 22, 2021
Whose Life Are You Really Living? A Deep Dive into Differentiation

Tony discusses the 4 Steps of Differentiation from the article "Psychological Differentiation" from https://www.psychalive.org/psychological-differentiation/ The 4 Steps are based on the work of Dr. Robert Firestone from his book "The Self-Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation," Visit http://tonyoverbay.com to sign up for Tony's newsletter and to find out more about his programs for couples communication, parenting, pornography […]

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June 15, 2021
How Attachment Styles Effect Relationships, Addiction, and more w/Nate Christensen APCC

Nate Christensen, APCC, joins Tony to discuss attachment styles and how they relate to addiction, and how attachment shows up in marriage. Out of the various attachment styles, what does it look like when an anxious attachment style meets up with an avoidant attachment style in relationships where trust has been broken? If you are […]

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June 8, 2021
Ladders Make Crummy Shovels - 3 Metaphors That Lead to a Lifetime of Happiness

Have you ever felt like you’re in a vicious game of tug-of-war with the struggles in your life? Afraid that if you don’t pull hard enough you’ll fall into the bottomless bit in front of you? What would happen if you dropped the rope in the tug-of-war with anxiety, depression, or fear? Or have you […]

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June 4, 2021
Acceptance Doesn't Mean Apathy - Tony Overbay's ACT Presentation at the Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit

Kurt Francom, podcast host, and executive director of Leading Saints, takes over The Virtual Couch to share a recent interview that Tony did for their "Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit." The topic of Tony's presentation was "Acceptance Doesn't Mean Apathy," where Tony shares Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles in the context of religious leadership. […]

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