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June 23, 2022
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do - Amy Morin, LCSW

Tony discusses Amy Morin, LCSW's article "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201501/13-things-mentally-strong-people-dont-do Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.  You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path […]

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June 16, 2022
How To Turn Big Emotions into Healing - Taming Your Trauma

Sometimes we don't realize how childhood trauma can show up in adulthood. Even the most supportive parents often tell children "not to worry about it," or "they didn't mean it," or "it's not that big of a deal." So it's not surprising that it can be difficult to sit with uncomfortable emotions. Tony goes through […]

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June 12, 2022
Parenting, Co-Parenting and the Role of Validation with a Narcissist

Tony tackles the topic of co-parenting with a narcissist or emotionally immature spouse/ex-spouse. He discusses the significance of a child's reliance on external validation from a parent and what that looks like when couples stay together purely for the children. And he breaks down the article "How a Narcissistic Co-Parent Can Manipulate Your Child," by […]

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June 9, 2022
Understanding Emotional Invalidation - Why Some People Don't Feel Safe in Conversations

Understanding Emotional Invalidation - Why Some People Don't Feel Safe in Conversations. Tony refers to the article What Is Emotional Invalidation by Brittany Carrico https://psychcentral.com/health/reasons-you-and-others-invalidate-your-emotional-experience#how-to-validate-someone Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage.  […]

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June 3, 2022
Doomscrolling! When You Just Can't Stop Scrolling Through The Ick

Tony explains "Doomscrolling," or when one feels like they can't break loose from continually scrolling through newsfeeds, or social media despite the fact that the more one scrolls, the worse one feels. Tony references the article "Understanding Doomscrolling," by Simone Scully https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/what-is-doomscrolling#tips-to-stop Visit http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost […]

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May 30, 2022
Emotionally Liberated or Defeatedly Discarded? Difficulties in Moving on from a Narcissist

The pain of the narcissistic "discard" can at times feel unbearable. And for many, it seems that the harder you work to try and make sense of the discard, the more it hurts. But getting to a genuine acceptance doesn't even feel like it is on the radar. Tony digs deeper into how we show […]

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May 26, 2022
Sorry...I'm Probably Saying This Wrong! Understanding Rejection Sensitivity

VC Sorry-2022-05-26.mp3 ---------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT--------------------------------------- [00:00:15] Come on and take a seat. I will hurt you. [00:00:21] Hey, everybody, welcome to this episode of The Virtual Couch. I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. And let's let's get right to it. I am going to talk today about rejection. How often do […]

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May 22, 2022
Does the Narcissist REALLY Believe What They're Saying? Understanding the Role of Confabulation in Gaslighting

If you've ever been on the receiving end of gaslighting, you've probably wondered "does this person honestly believe what they are saying right now? Because they seem SO certain that it makes me question my own reality...even about something I KNOW is true!" As with all things narcissistic, there is definitely a spectrum and a […]

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May 18, 2022
Shame, Shame Go Away...And Don't Come Back Another Day!

Why do we often default to shame? Tony Overbay, LMFT, often says that in working with individuals trying to overcome addiction or trying to be the very best version of themselves, exactly 0 out of a few thousand people he has worked with have used shame as a tool for recovery. Yet when we stop […]

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May 6, 2022
Coercion, Carrots and Sticks - All Get the Donkey to Move But at What Cost?

Tony takes excerpts from David Foster Wallace's "This Is Water," Kenyon College commencement speech to discuss the need to step outside of our own ego, and experience, in order to understand others https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/ He then discusses Russ Harris's ACT metaphor "Donkeys, Carrots and Sticks" to talk about using love, or coercion to get our needs […]

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