October 5, 2021
To Be Heard Is To Be Healed - Connecting the 4 Pillars of Communication

Tony describes in detail how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" works, including how to apply the 4 Pillars in any conversation where you feel stuck, unheard, unseen, or unloved. The 4 Pillars are: 1) Assuming good intentions, 2) Don't send the message of "you're wrong" or "I don't believe you," EVEN IF you […]

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October 4, 2021
Good People Trying to Make Sense of Nonsense (Gaslighting)

Today we tackle why good people look for reasons their narcissist is acting off rather than accepting the situation for what it may be. Plus, Tony describes four types of gaslighting. Please submit your questions as well as your gaslighting examples through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com #gaslighting #communication #compassion #therapy #virtualcouch #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote […]

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September 28, 2021
Give Yourself A Little Grace, Change Takes Time!

Despite what you hear from the self-help world change takes time, so it is important to give yourself a little more grace. If beating yourself up was the key to success, then we'd all already be perfect! Tony shares his secrets on how to become unstuck, and why we continually try to think our way […]

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September 27, 2021
Narcissistic Awareness Grief and the Narcissistic Apology

Tony gives examples of the narcissistic apology, and he explains "Narcissistic Awareness Grief," a term coined by Dr. Christine Hammond (https://growwithchristine.com/). Tony refers to an excellent article by Diane Metcalf on Narcissistic Awareness Grief https://toolbox.dianemetcalf.com/nag/ Please submit your questions as well as your gaslighting examples through the contact form at http://tonyoverbay.com #therapy #wakinguptonarcissism #tonyoverbay #tonyoverbayquote […]

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September 22, 2021
The Need to Finish Things Meets Procrastination - How the Ziegarnik Effect Impacts Mental Health

Tony talks about why unfinished tasks take up so much emotional energy and why, even with this knowledge, it can be so challenging to begin even the most simple project. The Ziegarnik Effect is the tendency to remember unfinished tasks better than finished tasks. Tony "reacts to" Cynthia Vinney's article "The Ziegarnik Effect? Definitions and Examples" […]

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September 18, 2021
Nature, Nurture or C, All of the Above? The Narcissist Origin Story

Tony answers several questions from the first episode and shares how the narcissist comes to be. Tony talks about abandonment and attachment wounds in childhood that may play into the "creation of the narcissist." And how gaslighting originates as a childhood defense mechanism. Plus Tony answers questions about whether more men or women are narcissists […]

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September 14, 2021
What's Stopping You? Discovering the "You" in Be-You-Tiful w/McKinley Overbay

Tony welcomes his daughter McKinley (Mackie) back to The Virtual Couch. Mackie talks about what it took for her to shed the “shoulds” in her life, “you should go to college, you should be a teacher, you should, you should, you should!” and how she ultimately took action on following a path she knew she […]

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September 10, 2021
Survival Tips For Engaging w/the Narcissist

Tony discusses 5 survival strategies to help you find solid ground when trying to communicate with a narcissist, or someone expressing narcissistic traits or tendencies. Also, have you been told that you won't let things go, that you like to fight, or that you're not as easy to get along with as you used to […]

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September 8, 2021
How to Be Happy...Scientifically Speaking

Tony breaks down Douglas Kenrick, PhD's article "7 Scientifically Supported Steps to Happiness," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/202109/7-scientifically-supported-steps-happiness based off of Sonja Lyubomirsky's book "The How of Happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want." Sign up today to be the first to know when the next round of The Magnetic Marriage Course will launch http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic #happiness #science #therapy #virtualcouch […]

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August 31, 2021
How to Rebuild Trust w/ Geoff Steurer, LMFT Host of From Crisis to Connection

Geoff Steurer, LMFT talks with Tony about how to rebuild trust in a relationship even after situations that couples believed they would a) never stand for in their marriage and b) believe healing was even possible, like infidelity and betrayal. Geoff is the host of the podcast "From Crisis to Connection" and co-author of the […]

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